Hello again

Hello past Joyce, can you believe that I found our old blog by searching for us on the internet? It's amazing what we were 6 years ago.

A few things happened since you last posted on this blog...

You turned 21...
You actually finished uni
You got married (your last name is different now :P)
Bad news, that fish tanks ends up getting broken :(
You started working and managed to keep on doing it for almost 4 years now
You turned 25...
You found your first white hair :O
Anaesthetics happened.
Guild Wars stopped (can you believe it?). Minecraft happened. DOTA happened.
You discovered sleepless nights and finding your old stuff again on the internet

I'm thanking God for bringing us through, His goodness is amazing!
There have been so many blessings in the last 6 years, and so many dreams and disasters.

I'm sure we'll find this blog again in a few years time on another sleepless Christmas Eve and reminisce again. Until then, keep smiling, keep shining :) Merry Christmas!

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good - His love endures forever!

Raaaaaaagh tired!!!!

One last before-bed post: Life to the Full @ Jeram's for the first time tonight! Soo tired but also so good. my legs hurt lol. :D

Learning..

That I am not in control

To cast all anxieties on him who cares for me

To be content, whatever the circumstances

To be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer

To be strong and courageous, and to hold on to the promise: Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.

--

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

Reflections on 4th year

Ok, so I've posted in my blog.. 4 times this year...

Where have I been?

It's been a good year I think. There's a lot to praise God for.

I've been in Newcastle all year, and so has Jeram

I've passed everything so far, with minimal effort (really)

I've scored really good tutors and rotations for everything

I've had Miche to bother and keep me company for the last semester

FOCUS has grown, particularly in the last semester, with a really diverse spread of culture and people.

I've learned more about myself, more about people and more about God.

It's funny, this year I actually feel older.

I think it hit me, when I was church the other night and people were talking about a girl in first year. She's short, asian, wears glasses and lives on campus, and she's a little "pocket rocket" - full of energy and bubbly, even when everyone else is tired, almost irritatingly so.

And I thought - hang on, that was me in first year!! where did all the energy go? Somewhere in the last 4 years, I think I lost my smile.

It's funny, the last 4 years, I've been trying so hard to be "older", to break the image of the little girl and make myself known as a friend on an equals level, not on a "put up with the younger kid" level. And now that I think I'm there, I feel like I want to go back to when I was 16, full of energy and naive about everything.

(then again, I had a moment yesterday when I was turning up for urology theatre and the nurse at the desk was calling the reg saying "I have a YOUNG medical student here to join you in theatre" and it felt like she was doing the "are you even old enough to be out of school?" thing - these things are more amusing than irritating these days, as I think - in about a year, I'm going to be a doctor :P)

But for all the energy and bubbly, I've lost, I think I've picked up a better appreciation of life, and what I'm doing and where I'm going. In terms of med, I think I've come to understand the system a lot better. I've lost the wide-eyed first year sense of "hero worship" and come to understand the doctors better as not just doctors, but also as people. In terms of FOCUS, I'm now better at standing back and looking at the big picture. And in terms of life I'm more certain of who I am as a child of God. And having been around so many old, sick and dying people, I'm more thankful than ever for the hope that I have in heaven.

It's weird, getting old is more "real" for me now than it ever was before - even a year ago, I couldn't imagine myself even at 30! Now as I look at friends who have graduated, it all seems to speed up. Of course, right now is the oldest I have ever been ;)

The speed at which life moves is exponentially proportional to the age of the life moving.

Tamworth feels less and less like home, every time I go there. It feels like the city in which my family is living, and a city that I'm familiar with, but not so much "home" any more.

There's a couple of words that I think could sum up fourth year medicine at the John Hunter, but above all, I think my word for it would be "lonely".

Picture being in an office full of midwives, waiting for handover on the delivery suite. They all know each other and laugh and joke about the weekend, about kids, about knitting. You try not to look too awkward, and hope that one of them will be happy to supervise you this shift.

Picture being in an operating theatre - the surgeon and anaesthetist are talking about mountain biking, the nurses are talking about motorbiking and the reg is busy writing notes or operating. I'm by myself, and it's the timeless feel of the operating theatre - is it still daylight outside? is it rainy? is it cloudy? is it sunny? - it doesn't matter because the time always feels the same..

Thinking back on my favourite memories of medicine, they'd include PBL groups in first and second year, singing to Sufjan Stevens with Dr Hungerford in 3rd year, singing to Jimmy Buffett with Dr McCallum in 4th year, getting lost in the ID department or Lake Macquarie private with Miche - I think for me, what I value most is feeling like I'm part of a team, or at least being included. Of course this isn't always going to happen (in fact, as a med student it won't happen that often), but it's special when it does.

Does it get better when we start working? I hope so. But even if it doesn't, I think 4th year has trained me to get over the loneliness of working by myself, and just getting the job done and getting out of there. Guess it's a useful thing, for reminding myself that medicine is just a job, not a career.

wow that turned into a soliloquy :P lol time to go back to napping! woohoo 7am starts...

I suck at blogging

I really do. Oh well I think I'm going to start again for the sake of my sanity.

So far: I've finished 8 weeks in general medicine with 4 weeks in infectious disease and 4 weeks in geriatrics.

I picked up some form of cold in the weekend between ID and gerries @ wintercon 2, and still haven't completely shaken the cough.

Had focus weekend away in the holidays, picked up ?tonsillitis, was sick for a few days.

Started surgery last week, getting used to 7am starts - i felt strangely normal the past couple of days. my body told me how tired i was today tho, slept from 11am to 4pm!

yay for afternoons off.

I am lazy at blogging.

Here a short update:

Finished paeds

nearly finished o&g

fish tank

fish tank

fish tank

weekend yay.

Tired... and silly

I am tired but currently too silly to sleep! You can tell when there are 2 tired 4th years who have just gone back to uni when there is manic laughter happening at midnight :) neonatal ICU is fun. Paeds ED was a bit slow. So much to learn... augh. zz.